Who Cares About the Tree, I Just Hope They Don't Have Children

From the WaPo:

"We kept fixing stuff, but the problems kept coming right back, because of the weight of the tree and the roots," said Michelle Cook-Walker-Fancher. "Sweet gum roots are very aggressive. They look like baseball bats, like those things that the cavemen in those Geico ads carry."

Cook-Walker-Fancher? Really? Keep this up and her grandchildren will each have twelve last names.